Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Do you feel more special?

Today's post is more of a poll than anything else. I had this dispute now with a few different vendors, most notable my mortgage lender and the Phillies. If you are reading this, and at this point trying to figure out how someone could manage to have the same argument with the Phillies as you would have with your mortgage lender, then I suggest you read on.

How many of us receive mail that is addressed to you? Of course, most of us do. However, sometimes you may note that it comes addressed to Mr or Ms . To many of you, I am sure that this goes unnoticed. For a guy like me, who has a name that can be used for either gender, I notice this a lot. (Take for instance Robin Roberts, you could discuss the Hall of Fame pitcher for the Phils, or the broadcaster for ESPN and others, one male, one female, same exact name).

The discussion that I have had with these places, is why bother addressing the envelope to a Mr. or Ms. at all? Why not just send the information to Robin Czyzewicz. I was super unhappy when I got a letter from my mortgage lender addressed to Ms. Robin Czyzewicz. I had recently taken out a $200,000 mortgage with them, on which they would make $100,000s, and they have no idea whether I have a penis or a vagina. Would I have felt any more special had they acknowledged my proper genitals? Probably not. It would go mostly unnoticed. The time I notice it is when they mess it up. It just leaves them hanging out there to look bad.

The same thing came up with the Phillies. I organized a trip for 100 people to the game tomorrow night. When I made the final payment on the tickets, for roughly $4,000, the tickets came in the mail a few days later, addressed to none other than, Ms. Robin Czyzewicz. I realize that to the Phillies, $4,000 is no big deal. To me, charging that purchase, and the organizing the group, was a big deal. For them to turn around and guess at whether I am a male or female just seemed stupid. Again, it added nothing to the conversation, other than to leave them looking stupid, and me pissed off. I called them up and they did not have a great explanation for this mixup. In the system, they have a spot for Mr. or Ms. on their account, and mine was not filled it. Now it had been adjusted, but I still am not sure where the error originally came from.

Having dealt with gender confusion due to my name for my entire life, I usually let it roll off my back. Sometimes though, it really bothers me, especially when it is with big business. If I were running a company, I would just send the mailings to . I have met plenty of people with gender bending names, and I am sure I am not alone. Just send my mail to Robin.

So, how do you guys feel? When you get mail that is specifically addressed acknowledged your genitals, does it make you feel better? Do you even notice? Have you received one in error before? And why bother?

3 comments:

  1. My guess would be vagina based on how much you're PMSing over this.

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  2. In addition to the hilarious and scathing comment above, I did some quick research. How did you buy the tickets? The direct link to buy tickets from phillies.com (and ticketmaster as it redirects to the same place) doesn't even give you a slot to check off Mr. or Ms. This explains why it was "not filled in" when you called.

    As a software person, I think it's probably something like the default is Ms, or one system doesn't require the field and another (possibly the payment system) does and just goes with the first option (though strange that Ms would be first).

    Overall though I do feel like it's dumb to not just use the name you put on the form.

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  3. Right. Agreed on both. I am a vagina, and I also never had the opportunity to fill in the information. Somehow the title was attached to my account at some point in the process. Though when I called, the account rep I spoke to claimed that the system did not have Mr. or Ms. So, who knows how it happened, but it did. The Mortgage one there was really no story.

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